The Friend I Never Knew I Needed: Sid the Sloth

Sloth facts included.

Today, Cosmo's spotlight article is entitled, "Let's Make V-Day Extra Hot This Year." I've taken them up on this challenge by writing a post dedicated to my sloth friend, Sidney More. 

Growing up in a family where waking up past the hour of 8:00 am was deemed criminal, I find it odd that I gained such a liking to someone known as "Sid the Sloth." Where to begin? 

Sid and I met in the line-up of a university garage sale. The type of event where you could find gems hidden under pots still covered in macaroni cheese. After our first official meeting, we would soon discover we were neighbours in Mcintosh Hall, Sid in A12, with me right across the hall in A1. So, I guess it was deemed by the higher powers that we would be friends, or as Sid would say, "destiny.”

Sid stands at a 5'7, says "ya'll," is uninterested in politics, believes crocs are the perfect footwear for every occasion, and has a collection of football t-shirts. Even down to our walks, we are different, hers with slow tempo, while I like to think I'm a speed walking olympian. So, I don't think Sid the Sloth and I were "meant" to be friends, but she's taught me some pretty invaluable lessons, and undoubtedly is the friend I never knew I needed. 

The queen of self-care. A Brown-throated sloth sleeps 15-18 hours a day; Sid is no exception. As someone who doesn't prioritize sleep, Sid taught me the necessity of it. I came into university with the mentality that naps were for unmotivated people and felt guilty for acknowledging my exhaustion. Allowing myself an afternoon nap would mean that I lacked the discipline to push through a busy day. However, in balancing school, rowing, and the occasional tequila bender, I suffered from chronic exhaustion. Here, Sid stepped in. Through example, she showed me the importance of slowing down and taking melatonin. 

Sid doesn't over complicate things. Sloths have this rare condition called rod monochromacy, the complete lacking of cone cells, resulting in total colour blindness. Sid sees things in black and white, enabling her to move forward from mistakes. While I usually find myself in an internal war with my emotions, analyzing decisions I made weeks ago, Sid looks to the future, her next adventure - a tie-dye rave. I never have to worry about drama in our relationship; Sid expresses her feelings with no BS involved. 

Like sloths, her personal brand is rock solid. In almost every self-help, business, and personal management book I've read, they always highlight the importance of having a personal brand. Unlike an aesthetic, a personal brand goes deeper than that; it has to do with morals and how you internally and externally handle yourself. 

Sid doesn't waver from her uniform. Crocs, mom jeans, a turtle neck layered with a vintage t-shirt, and Barbour jacket. For formal events, a long black jersey one-shoulder dress. As someone who always took pride in her "fashion sense" (I hate that word), I completely lost it in the first-year uni. I lived in exercise clothes, ill-fitting pants, and always a beanie because I never prioritized my curls. Sid's so-called uniform has inspired me to reclaim this mode of creativity and expression, and re-discover what types of clothes make me feel like the most authentic version of myself. 

A crazy high pain tolerance. Sloths' legs are weak, so they rely on their upper body strength to move. Sidney made it through two semesters of rowing, with migraines, hand tremors, bronchitis and a torn hip ligament - which once home, she had to get surgery for. Seeing her push through this, probably when she shouldn't have, was a great reminder of what determination and stubbornness can achieve. So, to revise what I said before, she is the queen of self-care - barring the hip incident. 

She heals souls with her muffins.Sloth's don't eat much, but when they do, rest assured it is the most nutritious and delicious leaves, twigs and buds one can find. The first time Sid and I tried baking in the A floor kitchen; it was a buttery disaster. Instead of putting 1.5 sticks of butter in the vanilla cake, we put three and forgot the sugar. The result, a baked biscuit, if you can call it that? Our later baking attempts would go on to produce the most earth-shattering oat flour pumpkin muffins.  The Sloth became a culinary master—Banana bread, cupcakes, overnight oats, PB & J sandwiches, red velvet cookies, etc. I honestly don't know how I could have made it through the first year without her constant supply of treats. So to summarize, Sid takes care of her friends, always providing something sweet in times of need. 

On February 14th, single as ever, I think it’s necessary to highlight people in our lives who have brought unexpected joy. Be it, rowing on frozen Scottish lochs, clubbing in Edinburgh, scone tastings, ice-cream fasts, car crashes, zoo excursions, and hospital visits to Dundee, Sid has always been there for me. 

Though we couldn't be more different, it doesn't matter. The Sloth has taught me how to stop worrying about the future, wear more tie-dye, and always look forward to the next adventure. 

So, if you haven't befriended a sloth-like person as of late, I suggest you do so. 

Happy Galentine's day!